Whoops. I have made others aware that a blog is not a confidential diary and is in the public domain. I have squirmed at reports of Cherie Blairs contraceptive antics, or lack of them, at Balmoral. Looking back over some of my ancient entries I noticed that, broadcast worldwide, though I hope, barely read by anyone, were sentiments that should never have been aired in public. They have since been wiped.

My cold is slowly lifting. I hardly coughed once at last night's milonga or at the birthday meal for Lynn at 'Iguanas' which preceded it. St. Mary's Church Hall in Wollaton is a beautiful venue. It looks like 1920s Arts and Crafts - if indeed there is such a style.

I might even feel fit enough tonight for salsa - the first time in a fortnight. Meanwhile must get dressed and cut some nettles. I have heard of the nutritious properties of nettles all my life. A feature on some Radio 4 programme mentioned their use as a spinach substitute.

Then I shall continue the revised 'Jesus' chapter before preparing for all those visits arranged last Friday during a promising session at Bulwell Market. Two fat books had been on my shelves, unread, for years. Have just finished Vol. 2 of 'God's Playground' - part of a history of Poland by Norman Davies. It puts Dad's background into a fuller perspective. His mixed Polish/Russian/Jewish identity was typical for many of his generation and several before it. The 'sciences' of race and class, two scourges of the 20th century made such multi layered identities untenable. Have ordered Volume 1 and meanwhile am reading my last Christmas present to Mum, the autobiography of Nelson Mandela. After Stalin and Poland and the politics of East Central Europe the world of the Thembu and the Xhosa in the 1920s is quite a contrast. Many of the issues though, are similar.

To the nettle patch by Sherwood Community Centre, armed with the shears and a Tesco bag. A sickle would be better, but do not have one.

Slowed down a little by a cold, but not daunted by incomplete UWDC applications or mind changes. No Hyson Green market yesterday - I felt too groggy, but will, barring a downpour, try Bulwell tomorrow. At least I am yet more conversant with energy and other rules now.

It was good to hear from Olly - hopefully he will pass by over the w/e en route to Catterick. Friday's choir practice and its parade of potential Assistant Organists was most interesting. Whoever is chosen should provide us all with a great musical education.

Saturday's milonga should be a test of how many, if any, of the recent moves have been sufficiently internalised for me to feel sufficiently confident of deploying. Looking at last week's blog, one or two things have been achieved. Daniel has been revised - the garden is a little tidier and some seeds have been planted. The plan for 'Jesus' is being delivered.

By the time of my next blog (next week?), I shall have revised the Jesus chapter and be grappling with 'Astrology' - my accounts will be up to date, my tax return for 07/08 complete and there will be at least two new signed up customers.

Should report too on dancing - back to salsa after the cold and Saturday's milonga.

One filled UWDC form ready to post is one more than I had at last entry. Should have several visits tomorrow and two more are arranged for next week. I'll do Hyson green Market again on Wednesday and take a look at Bulwell tomorrow.

The garden is a little tidier and I'll plant some herbs and flowers at the weekend. Carlo's tango is useful, though he has an irritating habit of spending so much time demonstrating what he does not want that it is not always easy to remember the new move he has shown us. 'Phoning and visiting prospects is now normal and does not produce anything like the original fear. Income will grow.

I must address my fear of accounts and the Book of Daniel at the weekend or both will vaporise. Norman Davies on 'Poland' provides some interesting thoughts for July's 'nationhood' lecture.

Several days since my last entry. Loads of UWDC contacts but no specific sales. Fortunately MAD Day was a reminder that success is possible - the stress was on persistence and persist I will. I have enjoyed some Bilborough sessions, particularly history and performance studies where I can make some real contribution in the form of dance steps or family experience of the holocaust.

Last night's tango was bizarre - fortunately it was a warm night for being locked out of the Hermitage Centre in Sneinton; local authority employees do not work on Bank Holidays. We danced al fresco on the old church 'balcony' while the inmates (or outmates) of the Bendigo mocked our efforts. The Bank Holiday do at Isis was a marathon, dancing from 8pm till 2.30 am. Some superb whirling with a range of partners.

'Young Stalin' is a weird tale - a violent upbringing, and an informer filled young manhood produced a monster - none of us can ever escape our formative years. Fortunately I had more than filth, cold, Armageddon and Britphobia - though all four have continued to resonate down the years.

Dancing simply gets better. Last night the Comfort Hotel was not available and the ballroom at the Strathdon had a minute floor and low ceiling. Despite some carpet dancing and the close and sweaty atmosphere I stayed till 2am. It was Alison's birthday and we had a lively spinning bachata together early on. Last dance was with Lynn and her completely contrasting manic staccato style of movement.

With Public Liability insurance I can now work the Nottingham Markets with UWDC. I started on Wednesday at Hyson Green and secured 3 appointments for Monday, with 2 more possibles later on. Am at Bilborough this Wednesday so may try Bulwell on Friday. Tomorrow is MAD Day in Northampton. I am a little more clued up this time round. At least Ron got me into the business, for all that his advice and influence thereafter was useless and negative.

Monday's tango is now in Sneinton and is as compelling as salsa. George Monbiot's 'Heat' was a great read; thanks for the recommendation Peter. Must address myself later this week to the Daniel Chapter. Maybe the strike days of Tues. and Wed. will provide an opportunity. I will forward the text to 'regcover' right now.

A weekend of unhurried chores, with a liberal dose of music and dance is in progress. With domestic decks clear by tomorrow morning I should be ready to assault the accounts and UWDC prospects' estimates.

We sampled at Southwell last night the genius of William Byrd, and at the Comfort Hotel I enjoyed again the magical experience of whirling round the dance floor with Anna. Her flying fluidity is exceptional, even in a room full of accomplished and exciting dance partners.

Tariq's old school friend has kindly sent me a selection of tango music, downloaded from Argentine Radio on to CD. I will listen tomorrow when refreshed and alert. It is gratifying, reading Geza Vermes' books on Jesus, that in my modest reading and study I have reached, independently, some of the same conclusions as this lifelong, Jesus obsessed scholar.

Friday morn at Bilborough was interesting, an opportunity to introduce the students to my family's direct connection with the bad guys on their syllabus. Little Louis was rather tired during his lesson but gamely persevered. An ex Bilborough student called round at teatime and persuaded me to donate regularly to a deaf children's charity. If nothing else she was a great example of successful salesmanship. She worked regular door knocking hours and had learned to make the best of every eventuality. What's more she provided an interlude of interesting conversation. Her middle name of Quetzal, the Mexican bird of paradise, I certainly do remember.

Time now to finish both the ironing and Geza Vermes on the Changing Faces of Jesus.

Plod..plod..plod on all three fronts, but downhearted I am not. Dancing and singing continue to provide me with superb company and help me retain my sanity and faith in humanity. Carlo, the Christian Arab from the Uni. has a very different style of teaching from Njaal and Cidinha. He likes big, purposeful strides and imparts sequences of half a dozen steps as opposed to moves requiring but two or three. Further he is very particular about the maintenance of the line of dance.

Maria's party at Edin's last Friday was a reminder, as if I needed one, of the warmth of association built up with Nottingham's dancers over the years. The conviviality in that back room, the laughter, conversation and indeed, the dancing was sheer joy. Maria is one of the warmest hearted people I know. It was her energy and thoughtfulness that gathered us all together that night. To see the smiling faces of Alison, Chinty, Federico, Tranen (?), Lynn, Sasha, Roy, Anya and Michael was uplifting. As for the dancing at the Comfort Hotel that followed, that was the usual wonderful experience. Sunday's early morning Southwell service was the first of many; I look forward to the others. There is space for tasty music of a greater variety, but with no sacrifice of quality.

Am off to Farndon tonight to see a potential UWDC client. Regular reading and talking re. the bus. is helping to build my confidence Today I am applying for insurance whereby to work the Nottingham markets. Some people are more at ease door to door, or talking with work colleagues. I am happiest as a stallholder. At last, with Andy Maile, I seem to have met a local Distributor who means business and is easy to work with. I have been very slow thus far at distinguishing the serious from those who merely dream.



I enjoyed playing host over the last week to Olly and then to Mr. L. Although I will not seek a paying guest I shall be open to requests. Olly's success with Fatladysingh is a tribute to persistence and a serious sense of mission, as well as the intrinsic musicality and excitement of their performance. If their Sheffield show was anything like what I have heard at Junktion 7, I can well understand why they came first.

I have not heard from Olly since he went to Chevenor. The map indicates there is a large area of flat estuarine marshland or pasture whereon to drive a whole range of vehicles. Whatever else transpires, Olly's organisational and technical skills will increase still further. Fortunately he will have the company of several other Dartmouth musicians and will be able to repeat his last summer's triumphal ska band performance on the bandstand at the finale of Dartmouth Carnival week.

Last week's English lessons at Bilborough were quite rewarding. I had never realised that the 'unspeakable/uneatable' reference to foxhunting came from Oscar Wilde's 'A Woman of no Importance'. I wonder what tomorrow's history will bring.

Must sign off now and apply myself to accounts and preparation of a presentation for my farmer from Farndon.

The local Thomas Christian did not sign up, but I have two meetings next week as a result of Sunday's Car Boot. Olly will be playing with Fatladysingh in a competition in Sheffield on Saturday and the Chorale has its first early service on Sunday morning.

I had presumed the University tango man was German, as that was where he had learned the dance. It turns out he's a Christian Arab from Bethlehem. I'll show him my Christmas sonnet to discover whether my distant view of Bethlehem connects with the reality in any way.

A cushy day yesterday, sitting on a coach to Shrewsbury and back with geography students; hence I had the energy, in the evening, to do tango for 2 hours followed by 2 hours salsa. Tomorrow it's English all day followed by choir practice and Maria's birthday party. Will Roger, the silent one, be returned from his honeymoon? I know so little of Roger and why his wedding involved the presence of the Bishop.

Life is pretty good, for all that I am, as ever, strapped for cash. I have lovely company and plenty of hope and determination to pursue all three of this year's aims.

This should be a good weekend. I achieved one UWDC meeting. It may lead to a signing next week. The Thomas Christians of Cochin I had only heard of via Melvyn Bragg on the telly and Salman Rushdie in 'The Moor's Last Sigh.' Amazingly a family lives just around the corner and their home language is one of which I have never heard.

A visit to the pub with Roger was pleasant. He seems most content with p/t teaching, a selection of gigs and the company of Gladys. I can only write of hopes today, viz

Roger's wedding and Saturday's milonga - Sunday's carboot and salsa - Peter's comments on several 'Paradise' chapters - this lunchtime's Bilbo. salsa.

I'll do an hour's street patrol with 'Win a Mini' leaflets before a sandwich and departure.

Here we go.

Good job I checked my ambitious targets for this week. They should spur me into action. I have entered one prospect for 'Win a Mini' but have yet to secure even an appointment never mind a signing. Will ring her again later. Lighter evenings make door to door work feasible. I'll bend Andy's ear on Sunday. A QE cert. arrived, which is encouraging. I presume that means I am one of the qualifying 6. Cannot afford to rest; must, on the contrary, speed up.

An interesting few paras. have been added to 'Daniel' and an Apocalyptic book from the 1990s has been delivered and read. The official, 'sensible' book by Seow is awaited though the relevant bits of 'The 5th Monarchy Men' have been noted. It will be difficult to complete a revised chapter by the weekend, what with Roger's wedding and a milonga on Saturday.

Dancing on Sunday and Monday has been so welcome; I shall go again tonight. From next Wednesday I shall be tangoing, but Yilbert's Sunday lessons will continue.

This list making is excellent shock treatment. I have been on 2 UWDC courses, both Thursdays at Junc. 28 and this morning's in Matlock. Am suffused with other people's successful ideas for cold calling. Currently am exhausted from an early morn. today and 3 hours non stop dancing last night.

Book keeping will really get into gear tomorrow. There will be 'Win a Mini' door knocking daily and locally. There will also be writing and prep. as now. Next Sunday is 'Win a Mini' at Calverton. Andy and I will learn from last time's mistakes and keep on going and keep on learning.

For years I had been reading about Anthony Sampson's 'Anatomy of Britain'. I remember its launch and feature on Clif Michelmore's 'Tonight'. Now I'm reading it. It deserves its reputation.
Tomorrow there's more salsa and there's tango on Monday.

I will sign up two customers this week.
I will contact all those UWDC types whose cards I have collected.

I will complete the revision of 'Daniel'. Indeed a target of 2 customers and 1 revsied chapter per week should be achievable when there is no Bilborough.

BST tomorrow will really be a new dawn.

It is now Tuesday evening and the 6pm 'new' pupil has not materialised. I shall wait till 7.10 just in case I had made a mistake in the diary. Book keeping is yet to be set up and I have neither re read the UWDC folder nor made a list of 'phone contacts.

All is not negative however. The sacred texts chapter is complete and a letter composed and despatched to the Speccie. Last night's tango showed much that is coming together. A joint calecita, rhythmic weight changes and turns with sacada can now be executed 'spontaneously'.

Further, the book by Mawdudi did not throw my thoughts about Islamic fundamentalism into irrelevance and Bill Bryson on Shakespeare is an exemplary storyteller. Sunday's salsa party was enjoyable despite the rough old dance floor. Tomorrow the missed bits from the list, book keeping and UWDC revision will be sorted; the trial of assembling a readable chapter by combining information acquired from recent books with childhood visions has been seen through.

That opens the road ahead for less challenging, but essential chores to be faced tomorrow.

Blogging my 'to do' lists seems a sensible policy. Blogs are easier to recall than scraps of paper or diary entries.

I have 2 days public holiday to go and must focus on the 'difficult' aims. Setting up a simple book keeping system is not difficult nor is completing the sacred texts chapter. The word 'difficult' is in parenthesis as an admission that I am avoiding recognising my precarious financial state. Daily book keeping will be a reminder and thus a spur to concentrating on topics less inviting than dancing and reading. Completing a chapter will bring closer the day (or rather days and weeks)when I shall have to steel myself to the disappointment of rejection by publishers.

A letter to the Speccie is due, for all that it may well be rejected. The theme will be the danger of sacred texts. 'Moderate' Islam, by definition demands recognising the Koran and Mahomet as fallible. I will quote Ibn Khaldun. Maybe there will be a similar opportunity at Southwell on 23 May after the Islam/Christian Adult Ed. lecture. Simon's departure from Southwell for Winchester come September is the other Southwell news.

I never went dancing on Wednesday, but made up for that last night at the Comfort Hotel. Two dances with the lovely Anna and a delicious whirling bachata with a blonde German lady in a sparkly top. AND a terrific salsa with a hitherto unknown black lady. I wish I could remember their names.

A brief note from Marek was welcome. I wonder whether work or pleasure is keeping him from his country seat. So, tomorrow (before dancing at the Robin Hood Experience):

1. The 'texts' chapter will be finished, informed by the 'Who Wrote the Bible?' book and made accessible by refs. to Brit. historiography.

2. The UWDC folder will be read afresh as prep. for Thursday's course. Better make a list of tel. contacts.

3. Book keeping system will be set up.

4. A Speccie letter will be written.

A new pupil starts Tuesday and a pupil of yore recommenced last week.

No. 6 and No. 3, the easy ones from Monday's 'to do' list have been sorted. Hyson Green Car Boot is for 2nd hand goods alone, the adjacent market requires public liabiltiy insurance, and there is nothing further to be gained from the Calverton contacts. Maybe a further UWDC signing will be difficult.

Afew paras have been added to the 'sacred texts' chapter, and there is not much more of Geza Vermes' book to read. I feel a little weary, so shall finish the evening with more reading, both of Vermes and tango. Maybe they will energise me sufficiently for late night dancing. I will report on that come the next entry.

Olly has e.mailed. He is training in 'Pompey' presumably in prep. for Afghanistan later in the year.

A whole week sans blogging. It is comforting to look at last Monday's 'to do' list. I did them and they bore some fruit; viz. a UWDC signing; fabulous music successfully executed at Southwell, a winning Italian night with Hugh at Kidderminster and some memorable and beautiful dancing, not least last night with Anne, Anna and Olga.

Googling at last has revealed some Marek news; my Marek, not that Polish photographer. His letter to the Evening Standard may help in a small way to spread awareness of the Jazz Powered Train.

We sang Thomas Weelkes 'Hosanna to the Son of David' twice yesterday. With a convivial pub lunch in between and David Bevan's extraordinary Magnificat and all its bass drones, Sunday was a great musical day. I'd had reservations about my own performance after all those missed rehearsals, but made sure to check my own dots for several evenings beforehand. The Pablo Casals anthem is worth a mention too. All that and dancing to follow.

Musicianship has slowly improved over the years with Southwell training; it paid off on Friday with all those Italian songs in Kidderminster. I never used to sing so legato before. A surprise event was Rosanna's birthday bash at the Ukrainian Club. I heard of it via Jenny late in the day and had known nothing of the Children's story fancy dress theme. I met there, an Indian Jew for the first time. I had not previously known of the Bombay community and its affinity with the Zoroastrian Parsees. Might see Leon again sometime.

And the week's to do list?

1. At least one more UWDC signing.

2. Facility with sacadas in tango.

3. The bloody ironing and vacuuming.

4. The complete 'sacred books' chapter, informed by a completion of the Gaza Vermes book 'The Authentic Gospel of JC'.

5. Start new book keeping system.

6. Prep. for Maundy Thursday music.


Now it's back to the ironing.

My last entry concluded by announcing an assault on a 'to do' list. Paper lists get lost so today's will be on the blog. That will make a handy reference to see how much has been done.

The 'sacred texts' chapter is begun and its structure largely planned. I have been avoiding writing much of the text; reading Gaza Vermes on Jesus and David Turner on Tango is so much easier and thus so tempting a distraction. Today I will resist such distraction and attend to the following:

1. Italian songs for Friday night at Kidderminster.

2. Follow up of 'Win a Mini' contacts made yesterday.

3. Guitar prac.

4. Southwell Music Prac.

5. Complete more of New Chapter

Olly's trombone playing in the charts with 'Oystar' on the Bank Charges song is worth a mention. It is witty and catchy (the song and video that is; the trombone adds that extra oomph to the final chorus). I can see why making money from recordings might be difficult if all is downloadable for free on You Tube. Must broadcast that to friends and contacts; a No. 6 for the 'to do' list.

After nearly a year I feel I have a positive working relatonship with Sharon Joshi in Telecom Plus. Yesterday's Carboot at Calverton was but a beginning. Andy Maile, her 'upline' is an easygoing 'can do' character. We should see some results over the spring and summer. That is a No. 7 for the 'to do' list. For a more effective appearance at Fairs etc. we need a much tidier act. We shall get it together over the next few weeks.

That's it. Time to assault the list.

February is nearly done and a little progress has been made on the three principal fronts. Derby County Show is 'booked' for 'Win a Mini'. I am resolved to carboot weekly at Radford even if it means working solo. My early efforts were at Ravenshead where shoppers were few and my knowledge and skills derisory. 'Mugging up' on utility facts is also part of the daily routine.

A new focus, or rather, a pair of foci, for PD is taking shape. The absurdity of the concept of sacred texts is one. The other will point out the horrors that can ensue when the concrete and available present world is dismissed in favour of a mythical other.

The 'Tango Mango' break was superb, for all that it may have cost me a day or two's Bilborough work. I certainly felt the direct benefit at last night's Njaal and Cidinha class. It was lovely being able to meet Olly over tea and scones in Dartmouth and to hear of his plans. If he can organise a supply convoy in Afghanistan he should become yet more capable at running his own band.

Having spent so many years with no family contact outside the immediate circle whilst at Owthorpe and Colston it is most gratifying that John and I, despite our vastly different pasts, find plenty of mutual interests to share in the present.

Time now to 'blog off' and assault the day's 'to do' list.

2008 is the year I get to grips with UWDC. I will be not only of the tiny percentage who actually finishes a book and publishes it compared with those who imagine they might write one; I will also be of the minority of UWDC Distributors who actually makes money.

To that end I have been discovering how little I know securely as yet on telecoms techie matters. To talk to householders, never mind small businesses, I will have to continue , everyday, to clue myself in. I will be 'Win a Miniing' as many days as poss. this year. I know several locals who are now able and keen enough. I no longer have between me and Tony so am plugged into the circuit of someone who knows what he is doing.

Yesterday's UWDC4B course brought alot home to me. The trainer Mark Adams remarked how some distributors, having trained for 4 solid years or more for their 'proper job' assume that UWDC knowhow can be absorbed with one brief read and one brief session.

Last night's tango showed how much is now coming together, though I am mentally prepared for a reconstruction and deconstruction workout in Devon next week.

Olly 'phoned. I look forward to seeing him next week.

'Sailing By' is playing on the radio. It will forever remind me of returning from a gig, with a wad of notes in my pocket, and a feeling of tired relief; a complete contrast to the tension when travelling to a venue, especially a new one.

Tonight's milonga was superb, if for no other reason than that dancing improves with practice. No, do not be demure; dancing in close embrace with Claire was an uncommon thrill. Roll on the Faze cafe on Monday.

It was lovely to see Marek and Sabina today in such great spirits. Fitting out their country house, they cannot be short of cash, but they both work very hard in a range of projects; translation, time and motion, insurance, company law and computer maintenance, as well as Olly's music and publicity. I look forward to visits to their retreat come summertime when they are established.

'Paradise' revision is now, like guitar practice and UWDC promotion, built into the daily routine. Like with tango and salsa there can only be all round progress. I will visit Calverton Car Boot tomorrow and see how Fred and Mark are getting on and distribute some cards.

The programme for the mango is in the diary. To reach QE before departure is not impossible, but will require considerable application. As there is no Bilborough next week, and writing, music and dance are in easily defined boxes, I should have a spread of time to secure that objective. I will also be armed with a copious revision of tariffs, terms and conditions, a complete read of 'My First Year in Network Marketing' a TelecomPlus Business COurse in Northampton and a reply from Tony Griffiths to my multiple queries.

When distributing business cards willy nilly, most people accept with a smile. Yesterday was sunny, and the stallholders at Hyson Green Market seemed enthusiastic about the DVDs. I have noted their names and shall visit them next Wednesday. On Tuesday of next week, fresh from the course, I shall visit a range of stallholders and shops in Arnold and attempt to secure some meetings.

Marek and Sabina are calling in on Saturday to fetch the wash stand; there's a milonga at West Bridgford on Saturday evening and dancing on Monday and Wednesday this week was divine, both at the Faze Cafe and at the Up and Down Under Bar. Life is good.

If Lorna has irrational anxieties it is not a problem for me; I doubt that it's much of a problem for her. Whatever the case I must neither fall out with nor upset her without reason.

Onward with marketing ideas, 'Paradise Delayed' revsion, guitar practice, salsa prep.
and the Olly Christmas book.

Tagliatelle with creamy chicken and mushroom sauce for tea.

Less than two weeks before the tango mango. I will reach a target of becoming a QE before setting off for Devon. The journey should follow a pleasantly full day after two services at Southwell, sherry at the Dean's Residence and lunch at the Bramley Apple. The music, however, could be the principal feast; it is almost entirely 'Renaissance' with Tallis, Morley, Tomkins, Lassus and Palestrina. There is a gorgeous Bach anthem, though, in Evensong.

Dominic Sandbrook is a wonderful writer. Thanks, Marek and Sabina for introducing me. Half an hour ago I finished 'White Heat'. It is such a revealing view of the sixties. Strange how a man born in the 70s can tell me more than I ever knew about the decade through which I lived and he did not. Such is the historian's art. Even his football descriptions were gripping, for me who never reads the football pages and has only once attended a league match.

Before I depart for Devon I shall have had at least three days visiting local small shops with Tony's questionnaire on energy and telecoms use; even if I make no sales I should at least have increased my knowhow and practised my presentation.

I chose a Carlos class last Wednesday. It was most revealing, in two principal respects. My salsa vocabulary, though not, I hope, my fluidity, had stalled. Last time I went to a lesson by Carlos , c. 2 years ago, there seemed precious few new moves even in the advanced class. On Wednesday I felt quite lost, struggling with a mass of unfamiliar material. Regular attendance must be resumed; I shall go again tomorrow, after Colwick Car Boot, and before the 'Up and Down Under' bar. With Bilborough classes resumed I must have something to offer the more able dancers as well as the time to attend to those who struggle. Keeping up with Anna however, in either vocabulary or style, is a vain hope. She will, though, always remain an inspiration.

It was notable on Friday, covering for a General Studies class on religion, how little any formal religious practice touches the lives of so many. My Junior School experience of being drenched in daily Bible stories, and that not even at a Church school, seems ever more antique. It was gratifying, in covering Spanish, to discover that the students' reading matter is easily accessible to me, even without the aid of dictionary. I quite look forward to an all Spanish day on Monday, standing in for Raquel during her absence in Caceres.

Am now too tired to face 'The Book', but shall manage some guitar exercises. I shall make a more determined effort tomorrow at Colwick Car Boot. I discovered, at Thursday's COP, that my painfully slow progress is not untypical, even for salespeople from other areas.

Peter seemed quite pleased with the genuine, positive comments I had made on his programme notes. If nothing else the effort to persuade the Lawleys to switch has extended my knowledge of the business as well as of human nature, which two, of course are intimately entwined. Referring to folk song Louis Armstrong is reputed to have said 'Well I never heard a horse sing', and of course, no horse ever ran a business either, nor even became a customer of one run by humans.

Tango last night was predictably lovely. Now the class is split and we are a small, relatively experienced group I feel progress will be faster. A compact class, regular post class sessions at the Faze Cafe and the 'mango' in less than a month - all these can only mean good progress in prospect. Must go to a salsa class tomorrow - the only question is whether it should be Wilson's or Carlos'. I need some inspiration for the students' sessions due to be start again on Friday.

Shall go cold calling at the shops in Radford tomorrow, armed with Tony G's questionnaire. With Bilbo. work on Friday and Monday must make best use of available time. It is both instructive and relaxing to read Dominic Sandbrook, but must now face the as yet, lesser opus of 'Paradise Delayed' and see what amendments are needed to bring it closer to the greeat storytelling standard set by Sandbrook.

Three days, three fulfilling days and evenings have passed. 'What a joy it is to dance and sing' Thus the closing line of 'Wise Children'. I was back doing both on Friday night; choir practice at Southwell and salsa at the Comfort Hotel. As before the highlight was bachata with Anna, for all that there were many other superb dancers there that night. Much of Saturday was spent reading and preparing the two addresses for Burns Night. It was lovely to hear 'Ye Banks and Braes' and 'My Love is like a red,red, rose', but I thoroughly enjoyed introducing the diners to Burns raucous and sensual side. With three clergymen present the several references to the Bible and the Kirk were, I hope, apposite.

As I write all laundry and home chores are more or less up to date and the Lawleys as fully informed as I can manage, on the savings available to them on energy and telecoms bills. Peter has a determination to appear the canny chooser of services, and his reluctance to recognise the UWDC savings has led him first, to misreading things, and thence to serial misunderstandings and obstinacy.

It's a pride thing; the same pride which obliges him to imagine himself some sort of guru or consultant on the book trade. Still, for all that, he's a good mate of long standing. If some power, to paraphrase Burns, allowed us all to see ourselves as others see us, we may be freed from many a blunder, but, respecting the unalterable, we might also suffer more than usual embarrasment. Tango tonight; but before then I must complete all the UWDC marketing chores I have listed for the day.

I had intended, yesterday afternoon, to commence this entry with 'What a difference a day makes'. At the time I had envisaged finishing the day dancing at 'The Approach'. In the event I was genuinely overcome, by 10.30pm, with tiredness, and retired to bed and fell asleep straightway. Recovery has not been quite as dramatic as I had thought.

Nevertheless, the Bilborough day, covering for Business Studies and Economics, was quite pleasant. Though I had little to do, and am expert in neither, I have, as a self employed person of long standing, and as one who reads, for pleasure, the classics in the economist's library, a modest understanding of both disciplines. This gave me confidence to answer the students' queries.

During breaks I was able to complete the reading of the 'debate' book about the Apocalyptic Jesus and forward some jottings thereon to home. Thus my ref. to Peter Lawley in this entry is comprehensively positive. His trashing of my woeful 'Jesus' chapter was followed up with his recommendation of Thomas Sheehan's itunes lectures. These lectures led to my reading four magnificent and enlightening books recommended by that prof., which will inform my revised version. That can be started in earnest tomorrow. The ambiguity of the 'Kingdom of God' references in the gospels was recognised by Schweitzer, Sheehan, Dominic Crossan and all four contributors to the Apocalyptic Jesus book. What is more the David and Solomon legends seem to have grown in a similar fashion to the Jesus myths. History is projected backwards in order that the past will fit with today's narrative. I know this now thanks to the Finkelstein and Silverman book on those two kings, also recommended by Prof. Sheehan.

Norman Davies pointed out this 'writing history backwards' phenomenon in his intro. to 'The Isles'. King Alfred can be listed as a direct forebear of Elizabeth II. Genetically, certainly this is the case. His kingdom, however, was a much smaller territory and his political power of an entirely different nature. There were many kings and chieftains in these Isles during the 9th century and Alfred was but one. David and Solomon may have had independepence from Assyria, Egypt and the Philistines, rather greater in scale than some of their neighbours, but the magnificence, the heroism, the wisdom, the musical and poetical talent expressed in the psalms and the 'global' reputation; these were the stuff of epic dreams and stories, set down in writing during the Persian occupation and, most significant of all, bound in the great work that was to become the basis of The Bible.

Before then I have to get the signature on a 'line form' for a new UWDC customer, prepare a speech to the Immortal Memory of Robert Burns, revise my Scottish dances, continue to get clued up about UWDC terms, tariffs and technicalities. There's a new guitar pupil starting tonight and also, as ever, a pile of ironing. With last week's Southwell rehearsal missed through that malady I will have to revise the dots as well.

One other piece of good news. The salsa lunchtime sessions will be required this term, so there must be plenty of dancing this weekend in preparation.

Sure this is self censored. Some things I do are too stupid even to confess to myself never mind the wider world. Recording a dismal and mediocre day may serve some purpose, if only to remind myself that not all was wasted. I have nearly finished the last 'Jesus' book, (though accidentally left it at Bilborough) and just now commenced Olly's Christmas token book by Stephen Pinker.His style skips along, unlike my Jesus chapter. At least, during an uninspiring Bilborough 'cover' day, meeting other teachers' 'coursework pressured' students I was able to write afew reformed paragraphs and read a couple of chapters. I complain sometimes about Peter but am so glad he slagged off the Jesus chapter. It is knee deep in the mud of marginal political machinations. A big sweep (with due references to sources for those who may seek detail at some stage) is what is required.

A 'phone call from John to confirm Devon dates made me realise that he may read a fast paced book on my subject for all that he detests organised (and probably disorganised) religion. He would be put off though by the clutter of that chapter as currently drafted. He also asked about my mobile tariff, which reminded me how few UWDC details I have absorbed. Of course one cannot memorise everything, but I do need a broad outline. His call also reminded me of my still rundown, convalescent state. Most days I am ready to dance at any time. Today the idea seems quite alien. I feel leaden.

Let us hope the most exceptional feature of today's post is its relative gloom. At least I got to Bilborough. On Sunday I felt so low I had anticipated writing off an entire week.

Am finally surfacing from three days of inertia, sleep and fragility. Perhaps that was real (as opposed to 'man') flu. The most strenuous activities I could manage were soup making and reading. This week will be a new beginning, especially on the writing and Utility Warehouse fronts. Tony's script for friends and colleagues I shall deploy, as well as regular attendance at COPs and the like. I believe Lorna may even trust me now. For years she has thought of me as naive and unworldly; the contretemps in Shirley's presence was a breakthrough in at least two aspects. Even Tariq's self image of omniscience has been dented a little. He has at last realised that he may know a little less about my upbringing than I do; and, even more significant, he seems to acknowledge that as someone who has never been to a Kingdom Hall nor read a single book about the Jehovah's Witnesses, his assertion that JWs are the same as all the other religions may not be sustainable.

I shall give tango a miss tonight, but should be able to make myself of genuine use to tonight's music pupils. I must, however, start going to salsa classes once more or my repertoire of moves, far from expanding, will instead, atrophy.

Talking to Tony Griffiths on the 'phone was most refreshing. I shall be more assertive henceforth with friends and family; Lorna already seems at last willing to sign up. I must resist the temptation to correct Peter Lawley's wilful misconceptions, his determination not to understand the nature and the cheap tariif of 'Broadcall', as he is at least taking the time (albeit an awful lot of time) to read and comment on 'Paradise Delayed'. His obstinate attitude could even be seen as an asset in that regard. If adjustments are made in order to get through to one of his mindset, then the potential readership could be increased.

And boy, is his mind set. It is best exemplified by his references to himself as 'working class'. Seems that sacred and venerable epithet can survive a transition to 'classless' new Labour. I do not doubt that, in his ancestry, there are some worthy (or maybe even some unworthy) proletarians. 'Prole' however, describes Peter about as well as Orthodox Polish rabbi or Devonian aristocrat describes me.

In 'Goodbye to all That', Robert Graves recounts his introduction to class consciousness. Consigned to a fever hospital he found himself, aged c. six, for the first time in his life, amongst a 'crowd of little proletarians'. He would not have spotted the class difference himself, had not the nurses singled him out and fawned on him as 'a proper little gentleman.' Graves' father was a school inspector and hence, a member, in Graves' words, of 'the governing class'. The status of school inspectors has, if anything, risen since Edwardian days. It is Ofsted Inspectors who make or break the careers of others, who indirectly determine the price of property, and, a reflection perhaps on a desperate wish for official approval, whose advent has been cited as the cause of teachers' nervous breakdowns. Even if one's class identity is indelibly imprinted during childhood, impervious to subsequent rises and falls, then Polytechnic Principals were surely, in the fifties and sixties, part of a similarly ranked governing stratum.

The 'phone has not rung yet, so a nominal retainer plus guitar fees will be my income for today. At least I feel in reasonable condition this morning. Yesterday I awoke feeling quite faint and with a stabbing stomach pain. That did not prevent some attempts at telemarketing, a postive UWDC intro. to all the staff at the dentist when I went for a checkup and an hour's dancing towards midnight. And now a postive gloss on Peter. He passed on a recommendation from a writers' course he attended 20 years ago. 'Broaden your reading during research far beyond the subject and style in question'. John Crossan certainly drew on the literary world beyond history, sociology and theology when he described Josephus' attempts to paint himself as 'the very model of a modern Roman General'.

I must now set to a day of card distribution, a long delayed visit to Medina and the purchase of a book with Olly's Waterstone's present.

A glimmer of interest from a housing association made my 'cold calling' seem worthwhile. I decided to revise the UWDC Business Tariffs and provisions before going to town and seeing Khaled of Medina en route. At least those two short 'phoning hours blew any 'phone phobia away. Wrong people answering, mystification or total disinterest are the worst one can hear, and none is at all painful; with the calls costing nothing I have nothing to lose; there is though the possibility of long term gain.

Tony Griffiths sent a welcome circular letter to his 'team'. I enquired about Ron, amongst other points in my reply. There's a blog attached to the team website so I may well send some comments there. With Ron as my invisible, inert and totally negative 'sponsor' it's good to know there is life (and money making) in that direction, if only at a little greater distance. I look forward to any reply Tony might have time to make.

John Crossan's book is terrific. It points out the salient features of Josephus, which I had missed, drowned as I felt in a sea of violence, superstition and power struggle. Crossan attempts to create the history of Jewish anti Roman protest from the point of view of Jesus' peasant contemporaries, using written records, which by their very nature can only come from the ruling, governing and priestly classes. His initial chapter on 'peasant culture' in the 1st century
Mediterrannean could only quote letters from the Egyptian labouring classes. Literacy rate was high in Egypt and dry sand is a great preservative of papyrus.

I'll be too tired to write a paragraph plan for 'Jesus' or do much about Burns Night but will sign off now and play the guitar. Another day's Bilborough work came from Geraldine.

Am just returned, content and refreshed after a post lesson practica at the Faze Cafe in Mansfield Road. Dancers are such lovely company; such a privelege to tango with Claire, Lisa and Maria. Ella from Chile was a welcome surprise, but alas she is returning home later this week. Must salsa with her on Wednesday before she flies.

Only afew 'phone calls made this morning after cleaning and reading, but the desk is set and clear for tomorrow, unless of course I get called into Bilborough. I may yet get through to a person of influence, who can arrange a meeting and give the go ahead for their organisation to become a CFR.

I believe Gladys was sincere last night in her commendation of 'Paradise Delayed'. As an ex JW the theme has a special significance for her. I had thought my concluding chapter was horribly rambling, but Gladys thought it the highlight. I read it through today and maybe she's right. She lent me a powerful essay by Martin Amis, on a theme similar to mine; the horror of extremists who know they are right and with whom reason is impossible.

Time for another 'Jewish Peasant' chapter before bed.

I had never thought of 'The Mediterranean' as having been, let alone being, a cultural unity even in Roman days, but John Crossan makes a good case for it; a socety, or rather a collection of societies where family honour and patronage, until very recent 'globalised' times have counted for more than central govts. and their laws. He uses sociological studies of rural Spain in the 1950s as a means of introducing the reader to the Palestine of Jesus' childhood.

The principle of taxation, in historical terms, has only recently been inverted. For millennia it was a means whereby the landed would extract the tribute to sustain them in wealth and power. No wonder Marx and Engels' proposal, in the manifesto of 1848, to levy a progressive tax on income to finance universal elementary education, appeared at the time as revolutionary.

Peter Lawley is providing me, as ever, with a challenge to my skills in communication. His wish to seem 'ahead of the game' requires patience and diplomacy. He has an armoury of ready made objections to all sorts of things, but often fails to understand his 'enemy' before he voices his doubts. When I mentioned my 'book' c. 2 years ago he straightway reminded me that trashing Marxism was now old hat. It took some time to explain that my work was not on that theme, but on likening Marxism, and indeed many branches of socialism, to Christian Apocalyptic. At least he is now reading it and beginning to understand what it's about.

In his Christmas programme notes, he assaulted the 'misconception' that Christmas arose as a celebration of the birth of Jesus, not realising, it seems, that the Christian/Pagan fusion was common knowledge. And as for trashing the 'Christmas Hit' genre per se in an introduction to a concert where a Christmas Hit was promoted as a highlight, that can only be evidence of a warrior in a desperate search for an enemy. Some old lefties became greens when the cause was so obviously lost and the CPGB consigned to history, but Peter has not sought a home there. For some reason he remains in the Labour Party.

His initial assumption that the Utility Warehouse depended upon 'churning' for its commercial success, can thus be seen in that light; he needs the comfort of a protestor's vocabulary.
Churning was a popular (and justified) description of stockbrokers' practice in pre internet and Big Bang' days when access to financial markets was a closed shop. Brokers depended upon regular buying and selling to collect any commission. They would thus generate trading for its own sake regardless of benefit to their clients. The UWDC model is the antithesis, and success for all depends on stability. It would have helped if Peter had understood the etymology of churning, but he had acquired this 'weapon' anyway and saw, he thought, a chance to use it.

I now have the task of explaining that 'Broadcall' is not the bum deal of his immediate misconception, but sale or no, it's all good practice and, as with his comments on PD thus far, it is all most instructive. On that last at least he has taken the time and trouble to read and comment, and much of my revision will be based on his remarks. Thanks Peter.

Even at my advanced age the ligaments between my knuckles respond to the stretching jazz chord exercises, just as my biceps and chest respond, albeit very gradually, to the daily modest pumping of iron. Last dancing was Wednesday night and the next is tomorrow. What a long wait, but I look forward to a chat with Roger and Gladys at the new pub on Mapperley top when I've signed off.

Good Night.

John has just 'phoned and offerred accommodation during tango mango week. Must e.mail Wim and cancel soon. Diana Rigg, this week's Speccie diarist finds the notion of blogging inconceivable. When the world knows all about you, anonymity must seem like heaven; when, as in my case, anonymity is the norm, recognition is a bonus.

Last night's late Christmas Party chez Julie's friends was quite joyful. It was interesting to see how the chorale reacted to the boozy and boisterous, but quite charming, rugger types from Ilkeston. Richard, the dutiful and rather earnest organ scholar, showed himself to be quite the showman as well as a flamboyant and inventive accompanist. He is equally at home in party mood as he is with conducting the cerebral, delicate and sacred anthems and psalms.

Every UWDC prospect is a challenge and I am learning to view each as an opportunity to learn more. Every time I try to sort out the needs of a new client my knowledge of the diversity of provision increases, as does my understanding of the range of individual attitudes. Some will do all the sums and scrutinize every chart. Others will take my assurances as read.

I have read all the gospels afresh and am resolved to highlight, in my JC chapter, the significance of a Divine plan that must be fulfilled, and the inevitable End of Days which is part of that plan. Whatever or whoever the 'real' Jesus was, the Day of Judgement looms large in the established gospels.

Must return to Medina Stores soon. The man at the checkout, obviously of managerial status took an uncommon interest in my UWDC business card. I need some rice and coriander so shall return there tomorrow with a 'What's it all About?' DVD. That could provide a vast opening. Meanwhile I am plodding through the list of local charities from the yellow pages and e.mailing and 'phoning. What a gallimaufry of causes there is. Cochlear implants, Leicestershire primate support, Posh Pussy refuge, dyspraxia help, all requiring funds; some surely would benefit from becoming CFRs.

Those 'Salvador' chords are beginning to flow. Once I have completed all major inversions and scales I shall attempt the progression exercises. Have booked accom. for the tango mango; a shared chalet advertised as a venue for 'Holistic, organic, vegetarian holidays'. I have always taken 'all of me' on hols; that's holistic. I have never ceased to be an organism on holiday; that's organic; I'll only be having toast and cereal at the base so the veg. bit is irrelevant.

St. Luke is full of apocalyptic, fulfilment of prophecy, End of Days verses to an extent I had not realised. Must sign off now and go to Megan's to practise some songs for tomorrow.

I had not expected any work from Bilborough this week but a day and a half have already materialised. Monday provided an opportunity to share with a class my enthusiasm for 'Wise Children'. Strangely I was alone; maybe it is a generation thing. I was gripped straightway, on first reading, by all the familiar references to old songs, by the way the story chimed with my own fragmentary experience of an entertainment 'career' as well as memories of the Palace Theatre at Westcliff and the Pier Pavilion. Max Miller and the British Empire have no resonance with 16 year olds.

I felt quite confident at Monday's tango lesson; not because my repertoire of moves is multiplying; it is not, the increments are slow. I really am beginning to lead with the 'heart'; I keep my right hand 'proud' of my partner's shoulderblade and am never now tempted to try and steer with arm pressure.

There is an open few days ahead which must not be dissipated. Guitar, UWDC marketing, the Jesus chapter, recruiting of pupils; all must be advanced, so I'll cease blogging and head for Arnold both for shopping and card distribution.

The promise outlined in my last entry seems to have borne fruit. I have a signature from a new UWDC prospect, but afew details are outstanding. Singular, individual needs are always instructive; I must never regard them as an impediment. The lunch, tea, stopover and breakfast at the Lawleys were magnificent and the milonga last night was quite beautiful. I am fully revived after a refreshing siesta. This last followed Epiphany at Southwell and a buffet lunch at Anne's.

Jean must be great at her jobs, both psycho. and CAB. She is calm and understanding and has a terrific sense of humour. She knows her own mind, but I doubt she could be surprised, still less knocked off balance, by meeting minds many worlds away from her own.

Trad. roast lunch is a rare treat for me, and boy was I royally treated chez Lawleys. Peter is right about the erratic nature of 'Paradise Delayed'. That all this Biblical stuff is beyond his ken is, for me, an advantage. If I have failed to communicate clearly to him (and failed I have in more than one area) then that first draft needs much reshaping, direction and clarification.

I shall concentrate on the absurdity of the notion of a sacred text per se. At present that is in the book, but is not a driving theme. It must be as prominent as the recurrence of the 'Paradise Lost - degradation - violent crisis and purge - Paradise Regained' predetermined sequence of world history that is the basis of all the credos in the book.

I look forward to increasing my tango vocab. but it was fulfilling last night to dance but simply with Alison, Maria, Rosemary, Tracey, Sam, Lisa and Katya. On the dance floor my anxiety about money, or indeed anything else, evaporates. Without dancing, tension, destructive tension, could only build; no wonder my fortnight's absence from the dance floor had a depressing effect.

Katya has more reason than me to feel wound up. Without a residence permit she cannot pursue her research fellowship at Nottingham University; but she cannot return to Hamburg to tie up essential loose ends with her research team colleagues as that would deny her any eligibility to gain rights of UK residence. Frustration dissipates on the dance floor. Neither of us is expert at the Milonga, but we were very together, with both each other and with the music.

Sandwiched between last night's tango music and the salsa CDs later tonight, were Herbert Sumsion's Mass and Peter Warlock's 'On Bethlehem Down'. A joy it was to participate in that chromatic feast, especially as my voice has largely returned. The post service buffet feast at Anne's was a joy likewise. A 'tangomango' message has just now popped up so I shall now sign off and read it.

Barely a day since my last entry, but the New Year is promising. For pension purposes an unsolicited call for Utility Warehouse services means I have made an appointment with a new prospect before I had even planned to begin the year's marketing. I had time to watch the tango DVD delivered before Christmas. I noted the upright posture of the demo. man and compared it with my stooping shoulders, as caught on Njaal and Cidinha's You Tube recording of Goose Fair Night. I will bear that dreadful profile in mind when dancing at Saturday's milonga in West Bridgford.

The cold has all but gone, and salsa will start again at the Up and Down Under bar on Sunday. That will be after the morning's Epiphany Service in Southwell. My contribution to post Communion lunch at Anne's is chosen and a shopping list duly written. Before then there is a lunch date chez Lawley's; they are always great company and I look forward to hearing Peter's critique of a afew more chapters of 'PD'.

Roger and I should meet on Friday pm at the new pub in Mapperley. By then, finally, I will have finished 'The Jewish War'. All that death, starvation, disease and destruction is indigestible in all but the smallest doses. Fortunately I am merely reading about it. Next on the list will be the Gospels again, this time informed by contact with the works of Schweitzer and Sheehan. 'Impossible' chords as per Sal Salvador are beginning to sound musical after some modest, but regular, post Christmas practice. And so to: more Salvador, Sheehan's last lecture, Marek's present (Sandbrook book) and bed.

New Year's Morning

Last night at Roger's was most convivial; a refreshing relief from the arch and arsey Jonathan nonsense, of which more in a later paragraph. The panorama of garden fireworks from Bestwood, Arnold, Redhill, Sherwood and even Mapperley, to be viewed at midnight from the sloping garden, is becoming as welcome an annual tradition as Christmas at Lorna's.

Roger lives in a pleasant neighbourhood with some lovely neighbours. We made some music in the 'parlour' with Steve playing Seekers' hits from his band's old repertoire and, for the first time since we have known each other, Roger and I played some simple blues together, on guitar and clarinet.

I shall listen to some more Sheehan lectures today as I tidy the office and do the ironing. Yesterday I felt tempted to dig out a 'green' guru whereby to add a brief chapter to 'Paradise Delayed'. I had toyed with the idea in the intro. chapter but had concluded that most eco types were altogether too rational to fit the mould of my other seers. Jonathan's Ph.D. chapters, though, are the work of a writer who, in true prophet of doom fashion, believes himself to be one of an enlightened elite in a wicked world bound for destruction. We, the blind and profligate, refuse to heed his warnings of 'the Wrath to Come'.

My mother was more than content to be regarded as a wacky eccentric, a bohemian dotty old dear. Accusations of being a mental tyrant over her family, herself subservient to the diktats of a US based oligarchic multinational, she would have deflected with the wide eyed stare of a Holy Innocent. Jonathan, likewise, would be flattered were he regarded as an airy fairy hippie idealist. I have reminded him that he comes across as a supercilious, preachy doomster, receptive only to information that boosts his self image. He adopts in defence, not the wide eyed stare, but the officious and predictably pompous e.mail, declaring his wish to sever all contact. He has retreated, as I reminded him in a parting shot, to his 'postmodern eco greenhouse'.

There is a lesson there for me, (yes, I know these 'postmodern' types tell us there are no lessons to be learned from history, but we cannot learn from the present or the future; without an interpretation of the past, we would learn nothing at all; ergo 'postmodernism' or at least that aspect of a seemingly useless and nebulous concept, is ridiculous.) If and when my writing, (or dancing, singing, cooking, teaching or anything else) is derided, I must never resort to simply denigrating the critic.

And finally, a thank you to the 'anonymous' Peter Lawley for his most useful comments on my blog thus far. My 'E' will be produced and projected with near full round tone, I hope, in time for Epiphany. Only 60 pages to go in 'The Jewish War' and Josephus has concluded that, with the Temple surrounded by the Romans, and all the known world subdued by them, God must now (70 CE) reside in Italy.